Does your profile say everything about you that people need to know — or that you want them to know?
Mine does not. I keep getting questions, offers, etc, that could be handled with a few properly chosen words, if only I could properly choose them. So, as a public service, I’m going to post the answers here. I encourage you to do the same.
- Neither my avatar nor my screen name are not a character from the Simpsons. It’s a drawing of me, done in the style of the Simpsons. To get an avatar like mine, go to http://simpsonizeme.com/ and follow the directions. If I can do it, so can you.
- After consultation with all interested parties, I my informed opinion is that my penis is more than adequate, in both size and other operational parameters, to fill all current and projected requirements. I acknowledge your tireless and selfless efforts to prepare and present your unsolicited proposals for its improvement, but I am not interested in any of them. I will contact you if the situation changes.
- No, I will not fix your computer. Asking me to fix your computer is like asking Peter North or Jenna Jameson (depending on your preference in partners) to fix your marriage. It’s not going to turn out the way you hoped, even though your computer will have the time of its life and learn some enchanting new skills.
- I’m sure that sex with you would be delightful, but I am concerned about many of the longer-term consequences, so I’m afraid I must decline your kind and generous offer. I hope my refusal to boink you will not affect other aspects of our relationship.
- I’ll be back and post again when I damned well feel like it.
C’mon — what questions do you keep getting, or wish you kept getting, or imagined getting, or whatever, and what are your answers?
